AUREA Interviews Sounds Fake, But Okay!
Written by: AUREA News Team
Word count: 1102
Estimated reading time: 5 mins
Back in February, Sarah and Kayla from the podcast Sounds Fake But Okay hosted two authors from AUREA’s book project for Episode 332, and ASAW week special! We were excited to be included on their pod, an established resource for a-spec advocacy, education, and banter since 2017.
Told through an a-spec lens, Sounds Fake But Okay covers topics from dating, sexuality, and relationships to Reddit rabbit holes (what aro hasn’t been there?). There are also notable guest interviews (hello, AUREA book team!). Along with years of podcast collaboration, they authored a book in 2023.
For more about Sarah and Kayla, the Sounds Fake But Okay podcast and book, read on – and visit their vast podcast archives here!
AUREA: You have been doing this since 2017, that’s amazing! How do you continue to come up with topics for your podcast? Do you have any sources of inspiration? Do you ever get “pod-block”?
SFBO: Coming up with podcast topics after so many years of recording is definitely a challenge. When we started the podcast, we focused a lot on the 101 topics, things like the split model of attraction or QPRs. But at a certain point, you run out of those more traditional topics. Now we pull a lot from our own lives and the world around us and talk about more broad topics from an aspec lens. Pod-block is very common for us these days so we rely a lot on pop culture, Reddit, and the suggestions of our listeners!
AUREA: How have your perspectives on aromanticism changed over all the hours you’ve spent talking about aspec orientations with each other and/or the guests on your podcast?
SFBO: I think our perspectives on all things aro have really broadened. Because I (Sarah) am kind of your “standard”, most basic model of aromantic (no romantic attraction to date, non-partnering), my understanding of what it means to be arospec is quite straightforward – but of course not everyone experiences it that way. Some things have taken us longer to wrap our minds around than others, but you really can track our growth over the years of the podcast. We’re not perfect now, of course, but we’re certainly better educated, and when faced with things we don’t understand we’re less wary of them. It’s more of a “bring it on” sort of mindset these days.
AUREA: For an aro, or someone exploring that identity, who has never listened to your podcast before, what episode(s) would you direct them to first?
SFBO: Some of our favorite aro-centric episodes are Episode 42: Aromantic, Episode 107: Crushes vs. Squishes, Ep 119: Unromantic Activities to Do for Valentine’s Day, Episode 171: What is Aromanticism?, Episode 206: Asexual/Aromantic Joy, and Episode 292: Separating Asexuality from Aromanticism.
AUREA: Do you have a favorite episode of SFBO (or a top 5)?
SFBO: I don’t know if favorite is the right word, but I think Episode 68: What to Do Instead of Being Aphobic was an early turning point for us. It was an extremely silly episode where we really just let ourselves go. That episode came out in 2019 and I think it informed a lot of how our show feels now.
AUREA: Do you have an aromantic “dream guest” for your show?
SFBO: I’ve had a note pinned on my phone since 2021 that just says, in all caps, “GET MICHAELA COEL ON THE POD”. We haven’t ever seriously sought it out, but it would be amazing. I’d also love to have Alice Oseman back on to talk more broadly about their experience as an aro ace creator who’s sort of broken through into the mainstream. And lastly, I’m not entirely sure if he identifies as aro, since I’ve only heard definitive discussion around his aceness whereas the aroness is just rumors, but I would be remiss in my duties as a daughter if I didn’t say Tim Gunn. My mom loves him.
AUREA: I love the book and your writing style! What was your process like collaborating on the book versus putting together the podcast episodes?
SFBO: It was definitely a learning curve. The podcast is so conversational and feels very low stakes, but a book feels like a much more real endeavor. Sarah went to school for writing, so she felt a lot more comfortable with the book, whereas it took some prodding to convince Kayla that she was just as much an author of the book as Sarah was.
The two of us also just have very different approaches to writing – Sarah goes full word vomit and will write wildly out of order, whereas Kayla has a very classic chronological, outline then write approach – so it was interesting to see those two things come together. Luckily, because we’ve been working together for so long and know each other (and each others’ styles) so well, it wasn’t a major adjustment. Well, at least once Sarah got over her abject fear of writing in the Google Doc when she knew Kayla was also there and MIGHT be perceiving her work in progress.
AUREA: You sprinkle references to reading material in the book (e.g. Professor Elizabeth Brake, Andie Nordgren, Amy Gahran…) Do you have reading suggestions specifically for aros, someone exploring their identity, or their partners and family? (YA fiction, comics, etc. are as welcome as scholarly sources!)
SFBO:
Off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran
Loveless by Alice Oseman (a classic)
The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen
Hopeless Aromantic by Samantha Rendle (foreword by Sarah!)
AUREA: Bonus Q - What’s the story w/ the cow, orange juice, glasses, & piece of cake? Just curious!
SFBO: All of the icons in our podcast’s logo have references back to our show or our community. In the first few episodes of the podcast, we talked about “having beef” with certain things that annoyed us, which somehow snowballed into a fixation with cows on the show. We now end every episode with “and until then, take good care of your cows.” We also share our “beef”, or annoyances, at the end of every episode.
The juice in the logo is actually grapefruit juice! Early on we hosted a livestream to hang out with our listeners and Kayla was drinking grapefruit juice straight from the bottle. Our community really latched onto this for some reason. Eventually, we started sharing our “juice”, or good things, at the end of every episode to counterbalance our beef.
The glasses are a reference to our book, which heavily features the “aspec lens”, and the cake is an ode to the classic meme about asexuals loving cake.